We are a society obsessed. And it’s hurting us more than we know. This obsession affects our daily routines. It rules the way we socialize. It infiltrates our thought process. And it is always readily available at a moments notice. It’s bringing us down and harming our potential. In fact, this obsession is so strong that we don’t even notice it.
Believe it or not, I’m not referring to our addiction to social media. This obsession is much bigger than that. And it seems to have taken over everyone regardless of education level, social status, age, or location. It’s a big problem. In fact, that IS the obsession. Talking about our problems.
It’s an obsession thats so seemingly innocent that it actually causes the most damage and we always end up blindsided by it – if we notice the damage at all.
But how could you blame us for doing it? Problems are what consume our lives. In fact, it’s what makes our life go round. Think about it. The reason why most of us have jobs is to solve problems at work. One of your duties as parents is to prevent problems at home. The reason why you volunteer is to stop problems within the community. So it only seems natural to talk about our problems. Problems give us something to do.
If a distant friend asks how we are doing we either respond with “Fine” (which is a problem in itself) or discuss the latest conundrum of the day. Hell, Facebook prompts you to post problematic statuses by asking, “What’s on your mind?” If you are looking at it at work, you’ll probably have a work related problem on your mind so that’s what you are most likely to share on your Facebook status.
However, even though those people asked, talking about your problems is creating an even bigger problem. Whether you notice it or not, those problematic conversations taint your thoughts.
It’s the reason why you dread going to work. It’s what’s stopping you from loving Monday’s. It’s what’s holding you back from doing what your heart desires. Those tainted thoughts that stemmed from an obsession of talking about our problems is dulling our bright future. In fact, it’s making the world a dull place – even more than social media alone ever could. Our thoughts are what eventually becomes our future. Unfortunately, because we have become a society obsessed with talking about problems, problems are all we seem to reap.
Instead of talking about our problems, it’s time we became obsessed with talking about our joys. When people ask how you are doing, refrain from just telling them “fine” with follow up of issues. Take it as an opportunity to tell about the exciting project at work you are starting instead of the problems it might cause. Share the class you are looking forward to attending. And don’t be afraid to tell people the reason why you have a smile.
Take it a step further and ask others the reason why they smile, instead of “how are you,” to avoid the dreaded problematic dialogue.
It’s that shift in conversation that will eventually lead to a life filled with many more joys, reasons to smile and a brighter future. Let’s foster a healthy addiction for a change by discussing our joys and leaving the problems behind.
Tell me about something that brings you joy. Do you think you talk about your problems more than you talk about your joys?
TERRIfic Quip: “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” -Frank Outlaw
Reading your blog brings me joy! But more importantly know that I have friends family & loved ones who genuinely care about me bring me joy!
I’m so honored that my blog brings you joy! And i’m even more happy that you recognize how blessed you are to have such a great support system!
Such an insightful observation! We do focus so often on problems and, unfortunately, I think that focus magnifies the problems, which magnifies the focus, well – you get it! When somebody asks who I am, I try so hard not to revert to “fine.” I try instead for “FABULOUS!” or something along those lines. Just saying it almost makes it true!
I absolutely love that you respond with Fabulous instead of Fine. I think it definitely helps set the tone of the day and probably serves as a great pick-me-up to the person you responded to. I knew a man who always responded with “borderline excellent” whenever I asked how he was doing. It certainly always made me smile!
This is a fantastic post! While I want my friends and family to be able to talk to me if something is bothering them, I do get VERY tired of asking certain people how they are doing, only to be barraged with a list of everything going wrong in their lives. And the conversation is pretty much exactly the same every time I see those people, and it honestly makes me not want to ask them how they are at all anymore. It can be very depressing!