What To Do When Speaking It Into Existence Doesn’t Work

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Repeat after me: I didn’t come this far to only come this far. What’s for me won’t pass me by.

Thanks to my mom, I grew up knowing that I can do the impossible and I can manifest my destiny. She taught me that speaking things into existence can get me the things I want in life. And it definitely does work. Believe it or not, I won my honeymoon to Mexico after speaking it into existence and I was able to earn my first byline in a national publication after saying it aloud. That’s why I say, “I attract opportunities and money is constantly flowing towards me. I will be completely debt free at 30” on a daily basis.

As much as I’d like to believe that it’s really as simple as just speaking it into existence, it’s not. Unfortunately, the last two years has been a constant reminder of those broken manifestation promises as Covid remains the center of our lives. Sometimes life sucks and things happen. Your car breaks down, you don’t get the job, you lose the contest and you don’t get accepted into the marathon. It’s disappointing but it doesn’t have to be the end. Speaking things into existence doesn’t always work when we want it to. What’s important is figuring out how to move forward when it doesn’t.

I've always been told that we can manifest what we want by putting it out in the universe and speaking it into existence. Here's what to do when it doesn't work.
I’ve always been told that we can manifest what we want by putting it out in the universe and speaking it into existence. Here’s what to do when it doesn’t work.

Allow yourself to be disappointed

Yes, you are trying to lead a positive life, but that doesn’t mean you have to be positive and happy all the time. You just found out you missed an opportunity you thought you had in the bag. It’s totally acceptable to cry, be disappointed and throw yourself a pity party. You’re human. But don’t let that pitty party turn into an extended after party. Allow yourself to honor your feelings and then move on.

Decide if you will accept no for an answer

Sure, you told yourself that you were meant to have that job and said it aloud countless times. Unfortunately, the interviewer felt otherwise. So your first attempt didn’t work and you didn’t get the answer you wanted. Instead of your self manifestation coming true, you were faced with a glaring no. Before you give up completely, decide if you are willing to accept no as the final answer. The truth is “no” may be the answer now, but it may not be the permanent answer. If you truly believe that the initial answer was a mistake do what you can to prove that the person who told you no made a mistake whether it’s expressing it in an email, doing something to  make your credentials more appealing in the future or looking for something else to align you with the opportunity. I always say, “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who will stop me.”

Be honest with yourself

So we know you’re disappointed about not getting what you wanted. After all, you spoke it into existence everyday. It was supposed to happen! But I want you to be brutally honest with yourself for just a moment. Did you do anything else besides talking to yourself everyday?

Contrary to popular belief, speaking things into existence isn’t just about talking the talk. You need to walk the walk also. If all you’re doing is looking in the mirror everyday and talking to yourself, you are doing it all wrong. You won’t win races just by talking. You can’t simply rest on repeating a few motivational quotes and calling it a day. Only telling yourself that you will win the marathon won’t do anything and repeating that you will get that raise won’t actually make it happen.   Speaking things into existence is meant to motivate you, keep you in a positive headspace and keep going. It’s not an excuse to do nothing but talk to yourself. Use what you say to yourself as a reason to tackle those difficult situations.

Speaking things into existence doesn't always work when we want it to. What's important is figuring out how to move forward when it doesn't. Click To Tweet

You need to be very honest with yourself and ask yourself the tough questions. Are you sure you didn’t just repeat a few carefully crafted mantras and move on? Or did you actually say the mantra and hustle the best way you knew how to? Better yet, is it something that you are sure  you want or is it something you think you are supposed to want? If all you did was talk to yourself in the mirror and nothing more, you know you need to do better. And if you really did try and your best wasn’t good enough, do what you can to improve and pinpoint where you went wrong so you can fix it.

Take action

Now that you’ve been honest with yourself about just talking the talk, it’s time to determine what action needs to be taken.Take that class, brush up on your public speaking skills and improve your online portfolio. If you’re not taking action, all that talking to yourself is pointless. Come up with a plan, put it to work. And then of course, keep talking that talk. Finally, after you’ve come up with an action plan, take time to identify what will keep you motivated throughout the process. It could be making it your phone lock screen so you stay motivated, sticking a reminder on your mirror, or creating a push pin bucket list like this one so you’re excited by the reward of upcoming travel plans.

Trust the journey

Last year my husband and I fell in love with a house we imagined ourselves in, but the landlords picked another family over us. And it sucked. I kept telling myself that we would be in that house,so we were heartbroken when we didn’t get it. There are days I still get upset over it. But then there are times I think about how not getting that house opens us up to even more possibilities. Maybe if we had gotten that house now, we would have trouble paying for it. Or maybe, theres a better house out there for us.

I realized sometimes you didn’t get what you wanted because you didn’t need it. Maybe it just isn’t right for you at the time or maybe it’s something that would actually do more harm than good. I’m a strong believer that the universe has a way of protecting us from ourselves sometimes. Perhaps you didn’t get job, or the house, or the award now because something better is on the way. And if you do get what you tried to manifest a little later, you’ll only appreciate it that much more because of what you went through to attain it. In our case, it motivated me to improve my credit score, which helped us rent an place one year later that was is an even better fit for us than the house we fell in love with before.

Keep talking

So speaking it into existence didn’t work this time. That’s ok. Don’t make that your excuse to stop talking. Whether or not it goes our way, we need to continue manifesting the things we want. We need to keep saying things aloud so we give ourselves a reason to keep going and prove ourselves right. I strongly believe that what you put out into the world, is what comes back to you. Speaking kindly to yourself aloud is one way of doing that. The universe is listening. And things can go your way. And if you struggle with it, listen to the Manifest it, Sis podcast or subscribe to my newsletter and get a free printable to create “Mad Love libs” to create affirmations that sound like you.

Remember, you are a badass

Since reading the book, You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, it’s been my favorite phrase for a while. (If you are looking for a non touchy feely and overall corny book, this one is for you and you need to buy it now!) But reading the book or not, it’s totally true. You need to remember that whether or not your manifestation comes true, you still have a lot to offer the world.

What do you do when all the vision boards, manifestation and talking to yourself doesn’t work?

TERRIfic Quip– You’re only struggling now. You won’t be struggling forever.

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  1. I love this! I definitely have learned to trust the journey in life…when I learned that it allowed me to have better peace, it’s not always easy but it definitely works and is also true at heart. Thanks so much for sharing true facts…

    1. I think trusting the journey is the hardest part. We think we have it all figured out in our heads but we don’t, but that doesn’t mean it won’t all work out.

  2. This great advice that many people don’t always share. Knowing what to do when just “speaking something to existence doesn’t work” is essential to actually achieving what we’re seeking.

  3. I’ve never really ascribed to the notion of speaking things into existence. There are just too many things that I don’t have control over. Instead, I try to make sure I have a sound basis for wanting what I’m seeking. It’s humbling to acknowledge that you can’t control every single thing that happens in your life. But humility is a beautiful quality that should be cultivated anyway.

    1. Described so eloquently. Yes, I think it’s important to acknowledge that some things really are just out of our hands. And humility is often overlooked when it comes to manifestation and speaking things into existence. Thanks for sharing this perspective.

  4. I love this!

    It is important to first know that somethings just won’t happen, no matter how hard you try because it’s not meant for you. I do believe in speaking things into existence. Positivity must be spoken into the universe in order to be received. We often get side tracked and discouraged when things don’t go our way, when we believe that it should. We want what we want when we feel we should have it. Life unfortunately doesn’t work on our terms and

    1. Glad you liked it. It’s crazy how easy it is to get sidetracked after discouragement. I think thats why its also important to keep talking yourself to help keep you focused even when things don’t go your way.

  5. Great post ! I am not one who participates in vision boards etc because I trust the process of life. I guess without reading the book, I have had the feeling of being a badass already. Its great that you are encouraging others to feel the same!

    1. Good for you being so clued into trusting the process! I like to be in control so I still struggle with that from time to time.

  6. This is such a good post. So many people don’t realize that after speaking it, they need to take action towards it and if it is for them, those actions will be sped up.

    1. Exactly! There are way too many people only sharing words of wisdom on Facebook and not enough actually applying them to life.

  7. I am a huge believer in words being life. You’re right, speaking it doesn’t mean it will be instant. Some things really take time. I used to worry about the success of my blog and now I’m seeing things and gaining opportunities I said I wanted years ago. All you need is the faith of a mustard seed.

    1. I hear you! I say the same things about my blog. In time as I maintain my persistence I’m sure it will happen. Congrats to you for speaking in to existence, being patient and doing what you needed to make it happen.

    1. Yes! Thank you for pointing out that we need to be say these things to ourselves as well as those in our circle. When our circle is strong, you become strong as well.

  8. While I believe that life and death are in the power of the tongue, I also believe that faith without works is dead. So speak it, but then, work it! Great post!

  9. YESSSSSS!!!!! So on the same level as you! I used to try “think” my way into things with positivity. It was so exhausting and I always felt I was failing at it. I love so many points in this blog. Like allowing yourself to be disappointed. It’s so freeing!

  10. The Secret has made this topic relevant to me. Many people struggle with having faith in the secret. Some very credible people believe in the law of attraction. What’s tough is the execution of speaking into existence. I think you do a good job of describing how to take action when you think it’s not working.

  11. I love your post! My blog is also about positive thinking and changing your point of view when something ‘negative’ happens. This way of thinking can get you whenever you want. I absolutely agree with everything you wrote. Especially the being honest with yourself and taking action part. Jim Carrey once said, “You can’t just visualize your success and go eat a sandwich.” and I just love that quote. Thinking and speaking positively is the foundation for taking action that will take you to your goal.

  12. I think it’s important to learn how to accept disappointment. It’s all a part of the journey, and is a part of positive growth !

  13. trusting the journey could be so hard! also believing you’re a bad ass is a hard one for someone with lower self esteem like myself. I read “You’re a Bad Ass” by Jen Sincero & that helped quite a bit too!

  14. How inspiring! It is part and parcel of life that we find ourselves frustrated because we are unable to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. The true success is in picking ourselves up and continuing the journey. I love that quote at the end of the post! Thanks for the motivation today.

  15. Verbalizing and visualizing our dreams and aspirations are a great way to motivate us to go for those dreams. However, life is not always that way. Thanks for sharing your tips on how to work around the obstacles and still be successful.

  16. I definitely find trusting the journey the hardest, having and keeping that faith is hard when we have so many things around us that can sway our minds and decisions. Trusting the journey also depends so much on our actions, do we do it? do we not? It’s a tough one! Thanks for sharing.

  17. Very wise words. Loosing out an opportunity need not mean the end of the world. Definitely more opportunities will open up. Taking away few precious notes from here.

  18. Yes, yes, yes thing will happen when they are supposed to! I think people give in too easily when the going gets tough because they do not see the results right then and there, things take time to align to work, trust the plan. No one said it would be easy

  19. This is so helpful! A lot of people promote “speaking into existence” as the be-all solution to making your dreams manifest. Just speak it isn’t always enough, just visualizing isn’t always enough either. Moving foward is key!

  20. Hi Terri,
    Interesting read! I love your energy and enjoy reading and hearing your terrific words 🙂
    I am a firm believer in speaking aloud positive things into my life and that of my family; but I am also mindful that no matter what we say or do, God’s will be done. There are many things we want but we do not need. As you have highlighted, sometimes we do not get what we want because there is either something better or there is a lesson to be learned from not getting it at all. When I create vision boards and talk to myself, I always include God before and after, so when it doesn’t work I remind myself that he is in control, he knows best, and he’s got my back. This is life.

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