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Repeat after me: I didn’t come this far to only come this far. What’s for me won’t pass me by.
Thanks to my mom, I grew up knowing that I can do the impossible and I can manifest my destiny. She taught me that speaking things into existence can get me the things I want in life. And it definitely does work. Believe it or not, I won my honeymoon to Mexico after speaking it into existence and I was able to earn my first byline in a national publication after saying it aloud. That’s why I say, “I attract opportunities and money is constantly flowing towards me. I will be completely debt free at 30” on a daily basis.
As much as I’d like to believe that it’s really as simple as just speaking it into existence, it’s not. Unfortunately, the last two years has been a constant reminder of those broken manifestation promises as Covid remains the center of our lives. Sometimes life sucks and things happen. Your car breaks down, you don’t get the job, you lose the contest and you don’t get accepted into the marathon. It’s disappointing but it doesn’t have to be the end. Speaking things into existence doesn’t always work when we want it to. What’s important is figuring out how to move forward when it doesn’t.
Allow yourself to be disappointed
Yes, you are trying to lead a positive life, but that doesn’t mean you have to be positive and happy all the time. You just found out you missed an opportunity you thought you had in the bag. It’s totally acceptable to cry, be disappointed and throw yourself a pity party. You’re human. But don’t let that pitty party turn into an extended after party. Allow yourself to honor your feelings and then move on.
Decide if you will accept no for an answer
Sure, you told yourself that you were meant to have that job and said it aloud countless times. Unfortunately, the interviewer felt otherwise. So your first attempt didn’t work and you didn’t get the answer you wanted. Instead of your self manifestation coming true, you were faced with a glaring no. Before you give up completely, decide if you are willing to accept no as the final answer. The truth is “no” may be the answer now, but it may not be the permanent answer. If you truly believe that the initial answer was a mistake do what you can to prove that the person who told you no made a mistake whether it’s expressing it in an email, doing something to make your credentials more appealing in the future or looking for something else to align you with the opportunity. I always say, “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who will stop me.”
Be honest with yourself
So we know you’re disappointed about not getting what you wanted. After all, you spoke it into existence everyday. It was supposed to happen! But I want you to be brutally honest with yourself for just a moment. Did you do anything else besides talking to yourself everyday?
Contrary to popular belief, speaking things into existence isn’t just about talking the talk. You need to walk the walk also. If all you’re doing is looking in the mirror everyday and talking to yourself, you are doing it all wrong. You won’t win races just by talking. You can’t simply rest on repeating a few motivational quotes and calling it a day. Only telling yourself that you will win the marathon won’t do anything and repeating that you will get that raise won’t actually make it happen. Speaking things into existence is meant to motivate you, keep you in a positive headspace and keep going. It’s not an excuse to do nothing but talk to yourself. Use what you say to yourself as a reason to tackle those difficult situations.Speaking things into existence doesn't always work when we want it to. What's important is figuring out how to move forward when it doesn't. Click To Tweet
You need to be very honest with yourself and ask yourself the tough questions. Are you sure you didn’t just repeat a few carefully crafted mantras and move on? Or did you actually say the mantra and hustle the best way you knew how to? Better yet, is it something that you are sure you want or is it something you think you are supposed to want? If all you did was talk to yourself in the mirror and nothing more, you know you need to do better. And if you really did try and your best wasn’t good enough, do what you can to improve and pinpoint where you went wrong so you can fix it.
Now that you’ve been honest with yourself about just talking the talk, it’s time to determine what action needs to be taken.Take that class, brush up on your public speaking skills and improve your online portfolio. If you’re not taking action, all that talking to yourself is pointless. Come up with a plan, put it to work. And then of course, keep talking that talk. Finally, after you’ve come up with an action plan, take time to identify what will keep you motivated throughout the process. It could be making it your phone lock screen so you stay motivated, sticking a reminder on your mirror, or creating a push pin bucket list like this one so you’re excited by the reward of upcoming travel plans.
Trust the journey
Last year my husband and I fell in love with a house we imagined ourselves in, but the landlords picked another family over us. And it sucked. I kept telling myself that we would be in that house,so we were heartbroken when we didn’t get it. There are days I still get upset over it. But then there are times I think about how not getting that house opens us up to even more possibilities. Maybe if we had gotten that house now, we would have trouble paying for it. Or maybe, theres a better house out there for us.
I realized sometimes you didn’t get what you wanted because you didn’t need it. Maybe it just isn’t right for you at the time or maybe it’s something that would actually do more harm than good. I’m a strong believer that the universe has a way of protecting us from ourselves sometimes. Perhaps you didn’t get job, or the house, or the award now because something better is on the way. And if you do get what you tried to manifest a little later, you’ll only appreciate it that much more because of what you went through to attain it. In our case, it motivated me to improve my credit score, which helped us rent an place one year later that was is an even better fit for us than the house we fell in love with before.
So speaking it into existence didn’t work this time. That’s ok. Don’t make that your excuse to stop talking. Whether or not it goes our way, we need to continue manifesting the things we want. We need to keep saying things aloud so we give ourselves a reason to keep going and prove ourselves right. I strongly believe that what you put out into the world, is what comes back to you. Speaking kindly to yourself aloud is one way of doing that. The universe is listening. And things can go your way. And if you struggle with it, listen to the Manifest it, Sis podcast or subscribe to my newsletter and get a free printable to create “Mad Love libs” to create affirmations that sound like you.
Remember, you are a badass
Since reading the book, You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, it’s been my favorite phrase for a while. (If you are looking for a non touchy feely and overall corny book, this one is for you and you need to buy it now!) But reading the book or not, it’s totally true. You need to remember that whether or not your manifestation comes true, you still have a lot to offer the world.
What do you do when all the vision boards, manifestation and talking to yourself doesn’t work?
TERRIfic Quip– You’re only struggling now. You won’t be struggling forever.