Fearless Weak 19: Challenges with Identity

This week was meant to be about challenges related to my identity. However, it didn’t work out that way and my fears went across the board. Nonetheless, the challenges were still scary and helped me on my quest to be fearless.

June 12 – Legally changed my name. Call me crazy but I’ve been married for over a year and have been afraid to change my name legally. There’s something about changing the identity you’ve known your whole life, but out of love for my husband I changed my name to Hart. Though, I still have bouts with identity anxiety here and there, it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be… just a bit annoying to change every document. Fear Averted.

June 13- Taught Zumba class. I got my license to teach Zumba less than a month ago and was already offered the opportunity to teach a class. Considering I didn’t have a routine or music, I considered turning down the opportunity in fear of embarrassing myself. Instead, I crammed and accepted the challenge. Though I ended up free styling most of the class, it went well and I’m glad I did it.

June 14 – Fearless failure. Unfortunately, I did not have time to do anything scary today.

June 15- Sent a tweet to Nicki Minaj. Nothing big, but still a bit daunting noneth-less. I saw Nicki Minaj on Live with Kelly & Michael and wanted to ask her something about the interview. Though she doesn’t answer my tweet, I realized asking wasn’t as big a deal as I thought it would be.

June 16- Made a hair appointment. If no anyone with natural black hair, you know that we don’t trust just anyone with as our stylist in fear of getting our hair damaged. Well after doing my hair myself for years, I’ve finally decided to face my fear and make a hair appointment at the local beauty school. My appointment is this weekend and I’m scared out of my mind.

June 17- Called head of customer service for MyPublisher. I had a bad experience with the photo book company, MyPublisher and called the regular 800 number to complain. However, you never get too far with them so I decided to call the people in charge who could actually do something. Of course, I was afraid I’d sound crazy or they’d yell me, but I called the head of Customer Operations anyway. They didn’t answer so I left a voicemail. We’ll see what happens…

June 18- Agreed to do make an appearance for team on Saturday. A last minute event for a sponsor came up unexpectedly. It’s a high pressure event in which they depend on my performance to secure sponsorship for the next season. It’s very nervewracking and scary. Yet, I signed on anyway and crossing my fingers in the hopes I don’t screw up.

The scariest thing I did this week was teaching that Zumba class? There’s nothing like expecting to be the expert at something that you are really a complete novice at. 

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