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Repeat after me : I deserve to take care of myself as I see fit
Ok. I’ll just say it. I seriously hate that new hashtag #selfcaresaturday. Some of you may know it as #selfcareSunday or just simply #selfcare . However, just know that however you choose to identify it, I hate it. I’m not a fan of it. Period. And you shouldn’t be either. Why? Because the #selfcare gods, or whatever higher power in social media and trendsetting king decided to make this a thing is setting you up for failure. The sad part about it is, most people don’t even realize it. If you’re not practicing self care everyday or at least attempting to you are doing it all wrong. Self care isn’t about painting your toes in sparkly pink, taking bubble baths and sipping wine. But that’s what all the Instagram photos will lead you to believe.I’m not gonna lie; even I’ve succumb to it
When the boys are away mommy will … take care of herself. I should be working on my blog, pitching editors, editing, cleaning, meal prepping, doing laundry, or choreographing for Zumba and pole. But it’s rare I get a night when daddy and little prince are away. I’m no help to anyone if I can’t help myself. That means it’s time to let the night of pampering and wine commence! Can’t wait to unwind with my @shescentit and @sheamoisture products. #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #mommysdayoff #pamper #winedown #njblogger #staycation #facemask #beauty #blackbloggers #fitmom
But if you’re only spending one night a week taking care of yourself you’re doing it all wrong. Self care should be a daily thing. I know, I know. You’ve got jobs to go to, children to take care of, dinner to cook and bills to pay. There’s no way in hell you’ve got time to put on facial masks and paint your nails everyday. And I understand that. But that’s not the kind of self care I’m talking about. I’m talking about the type of self care you do to continuously improve the quality of your life. I hate to break it to you, but nail polish and wine just doesn’t do that. Sure, it’s nice to treat yourself, but that’s not the kind of self care you should constantly strive to do. And quite, honestly if you constantly feel the need to partake in this superficial version of self care, it means you are neglecting actually self care far too often.
Contrary to popular belief, self care actually isn’t all that pretty. In fact, it’s sorta ugly and doesn’t always make for the best instagram photos.
So what is the self care exactly? It’s all the tasks that improve your quality of life. Things such as eliminating that toxic friend from your life, or staying up all night to calculate your debt to income ratio to fix your financial situation. Self care is a combination of all those ugly moments that help you create an even more beautiful and fulfilling life. We all know that annual trip to the doctor for your physical isn’t all that pretty. However, once you find out what you need to do to preserve your life and take action, the outcome can be picture perfect. Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with pedicures, wine, cake and chick flicks, slapping a hashtag on it and posting it on instagram. We all know it’s harmless… unless you are using it as a replacement for actual self care. And I also understand that certain life circumstances make self care difficult such as caring for a relative with a chronic medical condition or a sudden job loss. I’m saying whatever your situation is, no matter how dire or bleak, you make sure to consistently practice self care that can get you to some level of greatness. Invest in yourself. Self care for an underemployed person with a demeaning boss could mean updating a Linkedin page weekly while indulging in red velvet cupcakes. Or it could be disconnecting from email and social media for the weekend to distance yourself from negativity that’s holding you back. You could even define self care as simply saying no to your brother the next time he insists you take care of his kids for the hundredth time so you can do something for yourself. Go ahead, and pamper yourself. Sip the wine. Put on the sheet mask, eat the damn cake and put your feet up. You deserve to enjoy life as you see fit. Whatever you choose to do, don’t use your pampering as a replacement for the self care that in time will ultimately lead you to a life you don’t need to escape from. Redefine #SelfCareSaturday to the #InvestInYourself initiative. No fancy Instagram filter needed.
What does self care look like to you? Do you engage in self care regularly or have you been neglecting it?
Terrific Quip: – You gotta nourish to flourish.
I totally agree with this! Self-care can’t be designated to one day at a specific time/event. We have to make sure we’re practicing it in some form daily. When we create that positive habits that’s when the real change happens. Great post!
Self care looks different for me depending on the day. Some days it is a spa day, other days it’s simply doing nothing. I try to do at least one thing daily just because I enjoy it.
Good reminder not to fall for the hype and to just do self-care. Also it is up to the individual to decide what self-care is for them.
I have never thought of this subject in this way but what you are saying is so true! We need to taking care of ourselves daily! You know something gets popular on social media and people run with it!
Agree! We have to take care of ourselves daily and not just the outside but the total package.
I’m not a fan of trends via hashtag but to be honest I like this one. For some of us, it is pretty hard to get selfcare in on a daily basis. I want to do it and I do attempt but when I am able to get a sitter and take some real time away for selfcare, it is so worth it. I would hashtag that any day of the week though.
This is a great post! I definitely agree, IG self care is such a trending topic right now. I definitely indulge in self-care regularly, but when I’m busy, I feel it gets a little neglected.
Some people need to squeeze in self care however and whenever they can. If it’s a day, an hour, a second.
I do self care regularly but not daily I’ll admit unless just turning the tv off and going to bed before midnight counts lol. I agree, social media has definitely romanticized self care. But I ain’t gonna lie – taking a bath instead of showering gives me life!!! Mind you I’ve done it once and my husband had to force me.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. A lot of women are painting their nails sparkly pink and still feeling out of sorts, because that isn’t what self-care is. We don’t know it unless we are told though, so you have helped plenty with this post.
I’ve been neglecting my self care. I just… don’t have time for anything! I did get my hair done last week, but my kids were there the entire time. I’m going to do better.